The Mistakes That Made Me a Better Host
When I first started hosting dinner parties and other gatherings, I thought there was a secret formula — a list of rules that “real” hosts followed to pull everything off effortlessly. I’d stress myself out trying to stick to them, convinced that one wrong move would ruin the night. Everything had to be perfect.
But here’s the truth: even the most seasoned hosts forget things. Every time.
The more I’ve hosted, the more I’ve realized that my little mistakes weren’t ruining anything. In fact, sometimes they were what made the night memorable (like the time I forgot the bread in the oven). And most of the time, I was the only one who even noticed something went wrong.
I was putting unnecessary pressure on myself — pressure that pulled me out of the joy of what hosting is supposed to be about. If that sounds familiar, I want to share a few hosting “mistakes” I still make today… and why I’ve learned not to stress over them. And you shouldn’t, either.
Forgetting the Ice
There’s always that moment when someone asks for a cold drink and I realize… there’s no ice left. Every. Single. Time.
I used to panic, running to the store or apologizing like I’d failed some invisible test. It felt embarrassing — like proof I didn’t have it all together.
Now? I just grab a chilled bottle of white wine, pull a glass from the freezer, or pour a cocktail over frozen fruit (bonus: it looks intentional). It’s not perfect, but it’s close — and it’s good enough. Because here’s the thing: a room-temperature drink isn’t going to ruin your evening.
Don’t let small details steal your peace. Your guests care far more about being welcomed than being perfectly served.
Overcomplicating the Menu
In my early hosting days, I believed a dinner party meant a five-course meal. I’d spend days researching elaborate recipes, cooking from scratch, and plating like a restaurant chef. By the time guests arrived, I was exhausted, frazzled, and too tired to enjoy the night I’d spent so much time preparing.
And the kicker? I’m not a chef — never claimed to be. So those complicated dishes rarely turned out the way I imagined. I’d set Michelin-star expectations for myself when my guests were simply grateful for a warm meal.
Now, my favorite gatherings are built around simplicity: one great main dish, a side that can be served at room temperature, and a store-bought dessert dressed up with a few fresh herbs or edible flowers. I stick with recipes I feel confident making — and if I want to try something new, I test it out before serving it to guests. Simple food served with ease will always taste better than perfect food served in panic.
The best part? Scaling back has given me more time to focus on what actually matters — being present. I get to laugh with people I don’t see often, connect new friends, and soak in the reason we gathered in the first place.
Not Making Time to Eat
If you’ve ever hosted, you know this one. You’ve spent all day cooking, setting the table, lighting candles… and suddenly realize everyone’s finishing dinner and you’ve barely sat down. You’re up and down between courses, clearing plates, refilling glasses — and your own plate is cold.
Now, I make it a rule: sit for the first ten minutes. Take a bite, a sip, a breath. You deserve to be part of the moment you created.
No one is keeping score. No one notices if dessert is five minutes late. The most meaningful thing you can do as a host is enjoy the experience too. Hosting well isn’t about doing it all. It’s about being present at your own table.
The Real Lesson
Here’s what I’ve learned: your guests won’t remember the exact menu, or the playlist, or how the napkins were folded. They won’t remember if their drink wasn’t cold enough or if dessert took a little longer to bake.
They’ll remember the feeling — the laughter, the warmth, the sense that you cared enough to bring everyone together.
Because when it comes to hosting, it’s never about being flawless. It’s about creating space for comfort and connection — and then sitting down to enjoy it, too.
